I don’t think I’m the only person in the world who suffers from the “grass-is-always-greener” syndrome, that infuriating notion that if I had what that person has then I will be happy.
Especially in regards to relationships. Having been happily single for the past year, I decided recently that I’d remain single indefinitely, with no plans to pursue a relationship with anyone other than myself. For me this means no dating sites or apps, no blind-date setups by friends or relatives, loving or otherwise, no pursuit. If I’m going to get involved with another human being, by golly, they’ll have to come hit me over the head to get me to notice them. Most of the time this works out great: I have incredibly fulfilling work, I give back to the communities within which I am involved, I have a lovely home and a sweet cat and a summer garden coming in. Generally speaking, my life is the picture of contentment. I want what I have.
And then I see them. The hands-holders, the exchangers of smoky gazes, the secret-smilers, the Eskimo-kissers. I see them on the bus and the bike trail and at restaurants and then suddenly it’s like they’re everywhere and what is wrong with me? Why don’t I have that?
It usually doesn’t take too much to get me back to remembering, “because you chose this” and returning to my contented state, but when I start getting all up in my head about this stuff and it starts threatening my serenity, I go straight to the list. The list of why being single is awesome. Not why it’s okay, not why it’s all-right-for-now, but why being single is really and truly awesome.
1. I CAN FLIRT ALL I WANT.
I work in a bike shop: cue the near-constant entrance of hot, toned guys. I get plenty of opportunity to practice flirting and no guilt whatsoever.
2. GOING OUT HAS ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES.
The only thing I have to commit to when I go out is having a great time, and I always do.
3. THE ONLY PERSON I HAVE TO CHECK IN WITH IS MY MOTHER.
And surprisingly, my mother and I have had a much better relationship over the past year than we ever have had before. She’s become a greater friend and better confidant, and I love having her in my corner. Being single gives me the opportunity to enjoy checking in with my mother, something I never anticipated or thought I would like so much.