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Every day in my journal for the past few months I have been answering a series of questions that forces me to get uncomfortably honest with myself.

Between the completion of a significant romantic relationship, losing a close friend unexpectedly, and many other life changes, I have been having a challenging year, but these four questions have become my north star. They have helped to guide me even on my darkest days. These questions are like the super-loving, no-bullshit friend who is willing to tell you like it is, day after day.

I highly recommend giving them a shot.

Here they are.

1. What the fuck do I want?

2. What bullshit am I putting up with that I need to cut out of my life?

3. What the fuck do I know that I need to do?

4. How can I honour myself more fully starting right now?

Let’s break these down slightly, and dig into why each of them is so powerful.

What the fuck do I want?

This is the seed. Every situation in our lives ultimately comes back to this.

What the fuck do you want? Honestly. Let go of all of the societal/parental/cultural expectations for one minute and admit to yourself what you truly want.

Do you want to change careers? Do you want to have children? Do you want to end your relationship? Do you want to start expecting more of yourself and feel more in alignment with your personal integrity, whatever that means to you? Do you want to live with your friends in the forest? Do you want to be polyamorous? Do you want to be a stay at home mom/dad? Do you want to get in the best shape of your life?

Admit it to yourself. Allow this question to drag it out of you.

And you can’t cop out and just write “What do I want?” because that isn’t the question. There’s more immediacy and force behind “What the fuck do I want?” You can’t hide from it. The question knows all of your deepest, darkest secrets… and it won’t settle until it has revealed them all.

You already know what you want. Your mental treasure is already sitting in the corner of your attic. This question is the high-powered flashlight that illuminates the truth of your desires.

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