*Author’s note: This article was written based on conversations with friends and clients and is not the author’s personal experience.

“You get so frustrated sometimes that you think you’d be better off alone. That love is not worth the heartache and pain. My Dear Beautiful Strong Woman… it’s not love that causes the heartache and pain. It’s the wrong man you choose to give into.” ~ Mr. Amari Soul

As women, we can fall hard for a man. It might be their looks that draw us in, the story they tell us about themselves, the way they gaze at us with their dark brooding eyes. Or perhaps we see some unexplainable innocence in them that makes us want to take them under our wing and nurture them back to wholeness.

We can’t always explain why it is that when we fall, we can fall hard.

Sometimes against our better judgment, we fall for the same type of guy over and over again, only to have the same experience.

Total f*cking shitstorm.

If you find yourself currently involved with or falling for this type of man, go in with your eyes wide open and just be prepared for what may come by being in that relationship.

Ultimately the choice is yours. Sometimes we need to have the experience to learn, grow and figure out what we are truly deserving of. Just proceed at your own risk.

1) The Fixer Upper

The guy has potential. You can see it. And you just know that all he needs is a little love and nurturing from you to realize his full potential.

Maybe he can’t hold down a job. Maybe he smokes and drinks a little too much. Maybe he lacks ambition, can’t figure out what he wants to do with his life or can be lazy. No matter what it is, you’re completely willing to stay the course, invest in him and make him into what you want him to be.

This will never work. Because people inherently are who they are. And they don’t change until they’re ready, if at all. If he’s not what you want exactly as he is in this moment, let him go and look for somebody who has the qualities you’re looking for.