Arguments are part and parcel of a relationship and they ought to be. But the way couples argue says a great deal about whether they will last or not.
“Instead of attacking the other person’s character, happy couples color inside the lines and express their own feelings,” psychotherapist Vikki Stark, director of the Sedona Counselling Center of Montreal, tells The Huffington Post. “It’s fine to say, ‘I’m furious with you right now!’ It’s not fine to say, ‘You’re a sorry excuse for a human being.’”
How different are happy couples when they disagree? Here are eight ways in which happy couples do things differently according to Stark and other relationship experts.
- They are not scared of fighting
Couples dedicated to a long term relationship don’t shy away from asking each other the difficult questions. They would rather discuss the thing than sweep it under the carpet. Instead of keeping the scary questions rolling in their mind they will ask it at the very first opportunity.
“When, if ever, are we going to have kids?” “What are we going to do if you get that job in another state? I don’t want to move to there!” – so, the issue doesn’t get complicated at a later period, says Diane Sawaya Cloutier, an author and a relationship expert.
“When taboo or uncomfortable topics remain unaddressed, they can turn any benign event into a big drama that could have been avoided in the first place,” she said. “Couples who talk about it can manage potential dramas.”